HAVING BOUNDARIES DOESN'T MEAN MY LOVE IS CONDITIONAL

I've found when I love someone, it is irreversible.  Once I love you, I cannot ever NOT love you again. I cannot ever abandon someone I love, nor turn my back to them, no matter what has transpired between us. 

 I do, however, now understand that whatever I am doing for someone else, must be more important to them than it is to me.  I cannot care more about what happens to them than they do or I am sunk.

I must never put myself again, in jeopardy for someone else's problems. Everyone has them and we all must figure it out. To throw up one's hands and give up is unfair to those who love you and whom you profess to love.  The pressure it puts on them is unfair because, as with me, it is just as devastating to see someone I love struggle, as it is to struggle myself.

I feel like a fool, and it’s obvious he sees me the same way.  He has no problem in taking from me the last of anything he wants, leaving me to do without that which I expressly told him I needed.  
 

I finally realize having boundaries doesn't mean my love is conditional.  My love can remain unconditional, while requesting to be treated with respect and consideration. I must cultivate the way I love, directing it toward  myself.  My Self-Respect must lead me to consider the extent of my Self-Love. My Self-Love determines the choices I make in consideration of my own well-being. I don't have to say 'yes' to everything, when I am not being considered, even in my own home. “NO!” is a complete sentence and sometimes the most loving thing one can say for oneself. 

 

 

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