HAVING BOUNDARIES DOESN'T MEAN MY LOVE IS CONDITIONAL

I've found when I love someone, it is irreversible.  Once I love you, I cannot ever NOT love you again. I cannot ever abandon someone I love, nor turn my back to them, no matter what has transpired between us. 

 I do, however, now understand that whatever I am doing for someone else, must be more important to them than it is to me.  I cannot care more about what happens to them than they do or I am sunk.

I must never put myself again, in jeopardy for someone else's problems. Everyone has them and we all must figure it out. To throw up one's hands and give up is unfair to those who love you and whom you profess to love.  The pressure it puts on them is unfair because, as with me, it is just as devastating to see someone I love struggle, as it is to struggle myself.

I feel like a fool, and it’s obvious he sees me the same way.  He has no problem in taking from me the last of anything he wants, leaving me to do without that which I expressly told him I needed.  
 

I finally realize having boundaries doesn't mean my love is conditional.  My love can remain unconditional, while requesting to be treated with respect and consideration. I must cultivate the way I love, directing it toward  myself.  My Self-Respect must lead me to consider the extent of my Self-Love. My Self-Love determines the choices I make in consideration of my own well-being. I don't have to say 'yes' to everything, when I am not being considered, even in my own home. “NO!” is a complete sentence and sometimes the most loving thing one can say for oneself. 

 

 

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WELCOME TO THE VISUAL EXPERIENCE OF THE LOVE I SEE

We yearn for love because these bodies make us think we are separate from each other. This physical experience tells us, by this appearance of separation, that we are lacking something which we must have to be complete.  Since our perception is from our center, outward, we erroneously believe we need another to complete us, our other half.

 

 The search inevitably comes back around to ourselves, for the relationship one has with himself, is a measure of one's capacity to love another.  No one can love you more than you loves yourself and you must love yourself in order to share love, for how can you share what you do not possess yourself?

Some of us search entire lifetimes for a special person who understands us, who sees us, accepting us for who they see and loving us unconditionally.  Some of us spend entire lifetimes with a special person who is aligned with us, sees similarly and have a value structure which reflects our own. Then there are the rest of us, right in the middle.  You try and think you've found it, only to find out months, sometimes years later, the person has been hiding who they really are and you, because you wanted it to be true so badly, or maybe the two of you had lots of interests in common and it was fun, but over time small resentments set in or you simply drift apart, as the things you value differently pull you in different directions.

It can hurt if we become attached and our identity gets wrapped up in being with a particular person who isn't a match for us. However, in time we take the chance again, because we crave that feeling of loving someone or something so completely.  The feeling of being the focus of someone's attention whom you respect and love is one of the most delicious feelings a human being can experience.  

 

Why?  LOVE is what we are - WE are the LOVE we seek!  Do yourself a favor and LOVE yourself first!

    

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